Whirlwind of a week(s)

aka is this ride over yet I may want off.... but then again maybe not.... could I just have what I want please? (and thank you!)
This is the week I have had since Saturday.


1. I get 3 texts from Opie wanting a peice of this fabulousness, he asked 3 time and I said no 3 times! I said I don't want or deserve just sex and if that's what I wanted I could get it. Haven't heard from him since.  (ok not all together true, I replied with that the first time. The second time he wanted a bit of a rainy day co-ed shower, to which I replied when we were together he didn't want a co-ed shower "because why would you want to watch me wash my butt" (His words not mine).  Third time sorry, I can't you know why. I actually replied at one point, " I've put myself out there for you before and all I got was heartache, I'm not sure I can do that to myself again.

2. Told Matt he got kinda jealous. "It's you're choice and maybe you would get your better kisser out of the deal" (enter sarcasim here).  Seriously, if your interested. Ask me out, if not and you want to continue what we have been, you have no right to be jealous!

3. Had an old (but significantly younger, say 22) friend asked me tonight,  to dinner sometime. I said sure. I'm nervous and kinda freaking out. I'll be 28 next saturday. It's Jordan!! I've never ever ever thought of him other than Val's little bro! But he's a good guy, put off college for a year or two to help his mom care for his dad with MS. But IT"S JORDAN!

4. Oh yeah that was the 23 yr old set up from a friend last week who told a friend who wanted a nice girl to take out. So we texted a few times. He quit after he found out I spent last Friday night knitting and am a complete dork. Oh yeah and I didn't respond the way he wanted me to when he told me he was walking around naked. Um no, we've texted for 2 days and never met you're not getting more that a Haha nice to that one. Sorry about your luck.

Oy. What a week!  (but really if the man parade must continue I'm game ;)

Back at it (again)

I started off 2011 really well. I dropped 8 pounds in the first three weeks. Since then, it's been not so good. I've been flucuating between 1-2 pounds from my lowest in Jan (which isn't bad but not good either). I know I haven't been excersising like I should and eating has only been so so.


So last week I decided to make a change. I knew my aunt had a copy of Power 90 so I went to her house and we talked about it and she gave me her dvds to use for a couple weeks. I officially started on Valentine's Day (I figured might as well since I didn't have anything else to do.) I'm currently on day 10 and still going strong. The scale hasn't moved yet but I can tell a difference in my ability to do the videos and in my body. I haven't made any goals for this program except to complete it. I don't want to disappoint myself by not reaching my goals. I guess really my ultimate goal is when my bridesmaid dress comes in for my sister's wedding in July that it has to be taken in...... A LOT!

Valentine's day

       I decided that tonight as this Valentine's day comes to yet another lonely close, I'd chanel some Music Man lyrics. <3
       But first some reflection.  The hopeless romantic in me wants to dive whole heartedly into this holiday and it's possibilities. Unfortunately, the effects of the past few years has left that part of me badly bruise and hurt and truely questioning myself and relationships.  I still mourn the loss of my marriage. Please don't read this wrong, I don't miss being married to my ex husband.  I miss the joy, dreams, and companionship I found on this date in 2007. When I was snowed in as a newlywed.  I'm fairly certain that my wonderful daughter is here today due in part to that snow storm.
I miss having someone to call my own.  I was hoping to not spend tonight alone (a certain someone decided tonight he should go to bed early). I'm sure he too was leary of the date and knowing me was pretty sure that I would have over analyzed if he would have come over. Me? Over analyze?  NEVER!   There are still moments with him that make me think there's potential there..... but again, that may be me reading too far into things. Only time will tell what will happen. As lonely as I am tonight, I still can't help but to pray and hope that there is someone out there who is just for me and that I'll find him.

Goodnight, my someone,


Goodnight, my love,

Sleep tight, my someone,

Sleep tight, my love,

Our star is shining it's brightest light

For goodnight, my love, for goodnight.

Sweet dreams be yours, dear,

If dreams there be

Sweet dreams to carry you close to me.

I wish they may and I wish they might

Now goodnight, my someone, goodnight

True love can be whispered from heart to heart

When lovers are parted they say

But I must depend on a wish and a star

As long as my heart doesn't know who you are.

Sweet dreams be yours dear,

If dreams there be

Sweet dreams to carry you close to me.

I wish they may and I wish they might

Now goodnight, my someone, goodnight.

Goodnight,

Goodnight.

Single woman's lament

All single women sick and tired of hearing about Valentine's Day and seeing sappy jewerly and flower comercials on TV please raise your hand.

ME ME ME ME ME!!!!!  (insert jumping up and down, hands waving here).

Don't get me wrong. I'm a hopeless romantic. I love to watch sappy chick flicks. Lately it's been the fabulous british accent of Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley. 
But something about this holiday makes me go BLAH. 

It could be due to the fact that I am on month 8 of the "unrelationship" with Matt.
Or  that I haven't been on a real date in who knows how long....
Or that I really want to go watch No Strings Attatched
Or that I realized this afternoon that my last "valentine" was my ex husband over 3 years ago.
Or that I swear everyone around me is either in a happy relationship, engaged, recently married, or about to have a baby.

And I may be a touch hormonal.

A Text

A certain someone texted me from work yesterday.  He found someone who will sell him the acres he wants and has money lined up (aka massive loans).  It is an understatement to say that said someone was super duper excited. I'm attempting to not over analyze (not attempting) but DUDE! he texted me as soon as he knew while he was still at work! Just sayin.  Oh yeah, what is he doing with said land you say?  Building hog barns.  Yes, my friends. He is going to be a hog farmer (he tells me he hopes to by May).

Country Girl seeking...... the ability to just let things go and not over analyze..... oh yeah and a hard working good looking farmer man. Know one?

Time to lose!

My sister is engaged! :) YAY! She also just found out her fiance is getting deployed in January. Sooo, they are getting married July 2 of this year. Which is great I'm really happy for her BUT I'm the maid of honor. And the bridesmaids dresses she's picking out are knee legnth and hot pink.  Very pretty. However, at this point I'm not going to feel extremely comfortable in it! 

So here it goes I'm going to try to post about getting fit at healthy at least once a month (maybe even more if I can remember to!)  Now for the hard part.... My stats. Ugh

Ok as of Jan 3 I weighed 263.8 (that is horrible to write BLAH). So I set myself some goals. I have been a member of Sparkpeople.com for a few years now. I would lose a couple pounds and then lose motivation. This time I have a 7 month motivation. My goal is to lose between 1 and 2 pounds every week. If I can lose 1 pound every week, I'll get to the weight I was before I got pregnant with my daughter. If I can lose 2 pounds every week I can get to where I was early in college!! 

So far I'm on target. I'm happy to say I've lost 6.4 pounds since the 3rd. The scale this morning showed me the numbers 257.4 WOOHOO!!!   I am eating well (and keeping within my calories given to me through Sparkpeople and somewhat following thier meal plan. And working out at least 20 min about 5 days a week.

Have you kept your goals you set for yourself this year? How are you doing?

Country girl seeking her thinner, healthier self!

Listen to Spring