Back at it (again)

I started off 2011 really well. I dropped 8 pounds in the first three weeks. Since then, it's been not so good. I've been flucuating between 1-2 pounds from my lowest in Jan (which isn't bad but not good either). I know I haven't been excersising like I should and eating has only been so so.


So last week I decided to make a change. I knew my aunt had a copy of Power 90 so I went to her house and we talked about it and she gave me her dvds to use for a couple weeks. I officially started on Valentine's Day (I figured might as well since I didn't have anything else to do.) I'm currently on day 10 and still going strong. The scale hasn't moved yet but I can tell a difference in my ability to do the videos and in my body. I haven't made any goals for this program except to complete it. I don't want to disappoint myself by not reaching my goals. I guess really my ultimate goal is when my bridesmaid dress comes in for my sister's wedding in July that it has to be taken in...... A LOT!

Valentine's day

       I decided that tonight as this Valentine's day comes to yet another lonely close, I'd chanel some Music Man lyrics. <3
       But first some reflection.  The hopeless romantic in me wants to dive whole heartedly into this holiday and it's possibilities. Unfortunately, the effects of the past few years has left that part of me badly bruise and hurt and truely questioning myself and relationships.  I still mourn the loss of my marriage. Please don't read this wrong, I don't miss being married to my ex husband.  I miss the joy, dreams, and companionship I found on this date in 2007. When I was snowed in as a newlywed.  I'm fairly certain that my wonderful daughter is here today due in part to that snow storm.
I miss having someone to call my own.  I was hoping to not spend tonight alone (a certain someone decided tonight he should go to bed early). I'm sure he too was leary of the date and knowing me was pretty sure that I would have over analyzed if he would have come over. Me? Over analyze?  NEVER!   There are still moments with him that make me think there's potential there..... but again, that may be me reading too far into things. Only time will tell what will happen. As lonely as I am tonight, I still can't help but to pray and hope that there is someone out there who is just for me and that I'll find him.

Goodnight, my someone,


Goodnight, my love,

Sleep tight, my someone,

Sleep tight, my love,

Our star is shining it's brightest light

For goodnight, my love, for goodnight.

Sweet dreams be yours, dear,

If dreams there be

Sweet dreams to carry you close to me.

I wish they may and I wish they might

Now goodnight, my someone, goodnight

True love can be whispered from heart to heart

When lovers are parted they say

But I must depend on a wish and a star

As long as my heart doesn't know who you are.

Sweet dreams be yours dear,

If dreams there be

Sweet dreams to carry you close to me.

I wish they may and I wish they might

Now goodnight, my someone, goodnight.

Goodnight,

Goodnight.

Single woman's lament

All single women sick and tired of hearing about Valentine's Day and seeing sappy jewerly and flower comercials on TV please raise your hand.

ME ME ME ME ME!!!!!  (insert jumping up and down, hands waving here).

Don't get me wrong. I'm a hopeless romantic. I love to watch sappy chick flicks. Lately it's been the fabulous british accent of Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley. 
But something about this holiday makes me go BLAH. 

It could be due to the fact that I am on month 8 of the "unrelationship" with Matt.
Or  that I haven't been on a real date in who knows how long....
Or that I really want to go watch No Strings Attatched
Or that I realized this afternoon that my last "valentine" was my ex husband over 3 years ago.
Or that I swear everyone around me is either in a happy relationship, engaged, recently married, or about to have a baby.

And I may be a touch hormonal.