4 years

     Four years ago today I stood before family and friends and said my vows.  I'm sitting here tonight unsure how to feel. 
     I am more than thrilled that I am no longer married to my ex husband. I may not have been the one to initiate the divorce but I am the one that came out of it for the better by far.  I am sad though that my daughter doesn't get the family life that I had growing up. Already she tells me she misses her dad (even when she's just returned from his house) and askes when she can see him again. It breaks my heart that she can't be with both of us all the time (again thank God that I don't have to deal with him on that constant basis, bedtimes every night and seeing him walk Izzy to her classroom two days a week is more than enough!)
       A part of me feels like maybe that was my one shot and being with someone. While this isn't a large part of my thinking it still sits there and nags, "what if."  
        My sister caught on to my sour mood these evening and recommended Vitamin A. I told her the reason for my mood and were she can stick her Vitamin A. She said she thought I should be happy that I am no longer in that marriage. I am, I truely am; but today I mourn for the innocence and dreams I had those 4 years ago and the harsh realities I've come to face. 

Country girl seeking..... comfort.