Peace

  It seems like I've been going from one activity to another whether it's family related, school related, or friend related. Let me sum up very briefly. (I'll skip over the stress-filled ex husband flustrations (yes, I know I made up my own word... I like it. I'm flustered, I'm frustred (yeah another made up word) so I'm flustrated!)

My best friend came home to visit from England. Thanks to a rather unfortunate accident her hubby broke his leg and dislocating his ankle, causing them to stay for an unintended long holiday. (No complaining here it was fabulous to see her and watch our kids play together!)


My grandma has not been doing well. She's been in and out of the hospital since she had hernia surgery 2 or 3 weeks ago (really it's getting kind of fuzzy now). My family held an annointing serivce for her at the hospital Saturday night. It's a beautiful, quiet ceromony that revives my faith everytime I'm a part of one. During the service my grandpa (also my pastor) asked Grandma if she had anything she wanted to say to our family. Her simple statement was "keep the faith."  I think she's tired of fighting (as is her body), she's been fighting for 10 blessed years now (I'll blog about the events 10 years ago later)..... Everything's in God's hands now; "Thy will be done."

As for me personally, nothing has been going on. No nibblets, not even much flirtation.  I wish I had someone to lean on, cry to, to hold me.  4 years ago right before Christmas my great grandmother past away not 20 feet from where I am sitting. My family and I surrounded her and sang hymns as she drew her last breath and passed away in her childhood home as she had always wanted.  I made it through that time with the support of my wonderful family. At the time I was also married with a baby.  I'm not saying that I miss being married to my ex (no way in Hell, best thing that ever happened to me was the day he filed for divorce, though it took me a while to realize it).  I do miss the comfort of having someone to sleep beside, to hold me at my low times to comfort me.  But apparently it is not meant to be this time.  So I'll resort to leaning on my friends (in more ways than one!) and family, and muster up the strength to continue on.
This is going to be a hard month I'm afraid.

Country Girl seeking Peace.....

Stress!!!

Ok so I've been neglecting my blog... I'm aware. I appologize. Things have been just a teeeeny bit stressful.  To sum it all up my last two weeks have been...... getting my daughter started in pre-k and thusly dealing with my ex husband (ugh I hate that man), moving my baby sister back home after her white trash ex fiance and she broke it off (let me tell you there's a great story behind this one), sick family (now including my daughter), and no I mean NO men lately.  I haven't even had as much as an object of flirtation. It's depressing.....
I did invite my eye candy at work to ride with me to a function on Monday.... He had "errands" to run... sure...
Oh yeah and my dreams.... CRAZY! Like Englishman snogging (yes I said snogging) another girl in front of me in my dream, a ghost capturing my daughter, doing a favor and getting burned for Eye Candy.  Weird weird dreams.

Totally random post, I know, but everything has been totally random lately!

Country Girl seeking peace.... and at least an object of flirtation.... PLEASE!

October Blahs

I'm so over October.  Don't get me wrong. I love the month, the weather, the football, harvest, etc.  However, the month does not seem to like me. A long term relation was ended in October, messed up my knee in October, served with divorce papers in October, and now let down again in October.  Is it November yet?

Country girl seeking November (or at least to turn this bad streak around!)  (Oh that and my best friend in the whole wide world is coming to visit for a bit from England in November :) YAY!)

Perfect Weather

Finally, finally, finally the weather is perfect fall weather!
Don't get me wrong, I love every season BUT fall and winter are the two favorites around here...
With fall comes harvest, cooler temps (finally, even though our first day of fall this year made it to a sweltering 90+!!!), football. It's the perfect weather for soups, jeans, sweaters, sweatshirts and campfires.



Doesn't it look awesomely cozy?
It's missing one thing..... someone to cuddle with...
Know any takers?

Country Girl seeking campfire cuddles.

Hurry up and wait

Day 2- still waiting, still haven't heard a thing...

Ok so I've decided if I haven't heard from Farmer Man by this weekend I'm going to go talk to him while he's harvesting.  I deserve answers and this isn't fair.

I know, I know. Chances are if he hasn't responded yet, chances are he doesn't want to get back together and he's avoiding the conversation. BUT  I just can't let him go yet. I need to know. A good friend of mine talked to him and his best friend a month (ish) ago.  Basically what she told me was, things went too fast before (true), he's never been in a relationship longer than ours (6 months), he's not quite sure how to be in a relationship but if he can lead things at his pace he'd try again.... And I realized last night, I never told him I understand all those points. But most importantly I didn't tell him that I'm game for that! (Granted that's because he never came to talk and didn't answer his phone). 
So.... yes, go talk to him this weekend OR no, wait it out?

Blog Revived!

So I decided today that it's time to revive this blog. New name, new look... oh yeah and actually writing on it may be a good start.

Lets see where am I at right now.   School's in session (except today, thank you NW Ohio fog!), I'm teaching half time Title I reading. I help out kids who are having problems learning to read.  Iz just turned 3!  Still no man... Thought I had one for a while, Farmer Man we'll call him. He's really a great guy. Works hard, was a great boyfriend for a while even through harvest. Shocking I know!  But then deer season came and he kinda disappeared on me for a while. Wouldn't return calls or texts.  Fast forward, he officially broke it off in January. Said I was wasting my time, etc.  So I've spent the last YEAR trying to get over him (yes, this is longer than it took me to get over my ex husband!)

Then come Labor day a little bird told me he was interested again..... So after a few weeks of texts and flirts, and what not. I went to his place and things felt right again (or so I thought). Now I can only get him to answer farming questions via text . I just need to know what is going on in his brain! What does he want here!?!?!  SOS!
So last night I left a voicemail that I need to know what he wants between us and I'll try to quit bugging him until he tells me.... Note try... It's rough... I don't like waiting..... at all....
But I'm doing it.

Day 1- drove past his farm, he was there. Refrained from stopping (yay me)... ugh I hate waiting.....

Well what do you guys think? Real honest opinions here!

In the middle of June, I started to date again. My mom told me it was too early but I needed something to do to occupy my time. Actually my favorite quote was from one night when I was particuarlly upset because two guys I had asked to come out to a campfire said no. Mom's response, "Well, you DO have a lot of baggage AND a baby." Gee mom thanks for that pep talk.

Fast forward to now, I have a beautiful almost 2 year old, who is so smart and potty training herself! I have a 1/2 Title 1 job at the same elementary school. It's less hours than I had last year but nearly double the pay (I'm actually contracted now), and I have been dating a truely sweet, amazing man for a month now.Tonight Isabelle wouldn't go to sleep so I put Winne the Pooh in for us to watch. My bf came over to watch it with us, so we all sat on the couch. Izzy on my lap leaning on pillows and bf on the other side with his head on my shoulder. It truely felt amazing and as much as it terrifies me I was left wondering if this could be a foreshadowing of the future. (really honestly and truely, I'm try really hard to take this slow. And honestly and truely, it's super hard!)